God shows his love for us in
many ways. Something that may not seem extraordinary to one person might appear
as a miracle for someone else. On Christmas Eve 1997, that is exactly how I saw
things, though not at first. At first I was feeling too sorry for myself to see
anything but my own unhappiness.
The holiday season is a popular time for
couples to get engaged. I had been in three long-term relationships by the time
I was 29, but none of them had ever produced a marriage proposal. I had always
considered myself a loyal, caring, unselfish girlfriend, and boyfriends often
told me as much after the relationship had ended. I always seemed to be "the one
that got away," and I began to feel like I was special only once the
relationship was over. After a while, I started to feel like I just wasn't worth
a lifetime commitment.
At
the age of 29, I decided I needed to take my own happiness into consideration.
It took a couple years of dating mistakes, but I finally figured out how to
respect my own needs and not just worry about the needs of my partner. That's
when, at the age of 31, I met Paul. He was a wonderful person who didn't expect
me to take care of him. He just wanted to be with me, and he respected me for
who I was. Everything felt right between us, and I figured I had finally found a
man I could marry.
During our second Christmas together, I thought Paul
might propose. On December 22, we ventured onto the topic of marriage. Paul said
that he did see himself marrying me, but the timing was not good "right now." I
couldn't help but feel sorry for myself. So many of my friends had received
proposals and engagement rings, but I had never received either. I was at the
point where I figured maybe marriage just wasn't in the cards for me.
On
the following day, December 23, school was canceled because of a winter storm. I
knew my students would be as excited as I was for the extra day off right before
the holiday break. It would also be nice to have a beautiful, white Christmas.
The roads were covered in snow, and the trees were buried under a sheer layer of
ice. It was much too hazardous to venture out, so I just stayed inside and
reflected on my situation.
By the end of that snowy day, I had come to
the conclusion that it wasn't the proposal I needed. It was simply that I wanted
to feel loved and appreciated enough that someone would want to be with me
forever. I prayed to God and asked that someday a man would think I was
important enough to give me a diamond, the symbol of the commitment that my
heart needed the most.
Christmas Eve finally arrived. Paul came to my
house so we could ride together to my sister's holiday party. I was happy to be
with him but a little sad knowing he wouldn't be proposing that night.
By
this time, almost all the snow and ice had quietly melted away. I realized that
we wouldn't have a white Christmas after all. It would, however, make the drive
to the party much safer.
The gathering was a happy one. My nieces and
nephew were a joy to watch as they opened their gifts. Paul and I had a
wonderful time with my family. Eventually, after all the gifts had been opened
and all goodbyes repeatedly exchanged, we left.
It was a long, quiet ride
home, as Paul fell asleep 25 minutes into the trip. The roads were dry and the
trees were barren. Yet the stars shone brightly against the black, cloudless
sky, adding a touch of beauty to the night.
As I neared my home, a small
group of trees caught my attention. They stood out from the rest of the dull,
dry landscape. Of all the tress I had passed on my way home, these were the only
ones that had any sign of the recent winter storm upon their branches. As I
drove, I wondered how this could be. The temperature was much too warm. Yet
somehow the branches were covered in an incredible layer of ice. I had seen
ice-covered trees many times before, but something about these was
extraordinary. This was a dazzling light like I had never seen before.
As
I gazed at the beautiful trees, warmth spread through my heart. This was a truly
magical moment. No longer was I seeing these winter-decorated branches with the
eyes on my face; I now looked upon them with the eyes in my heart and soul. That
night -- Christmas Eve 1997--the air was clean and crisp, the sky was entirely
filled with stars, and the trees...the trees sparkled with diamonds. Thousands
and thousands of diamonds.
In my heart I knew this was God's way of
answering my prayers. I had needed him to show me that there was a man who
thought I was worth a commitment, the commitment that is symbolized by a diamond
ring. That Christmas Eve, God covered the trees in diamonds for my eyes and
heart to behold. It was his way of showing me that he thought I was special and
worthwhile enough for an eternal commitment.
As Paul slept quietly in the
seat next to me, completely unaware of the miracle that had taken place, joyous
tears of peace and self-worth streamed down my face. I knew that I had found
someone who would love me forever, and realizing this was more profound and
meaningful than any marriage proposal I could ever receive. -- By Cynthia J.
Teixeira
Love, Blessings, and
Prayers,
Pastor
Pat
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